One Thing I Hate, and Two of the Most Amazing Things Ever

Oh, you're back?  Well I don't know if I can make it any clearer that you shouldn't be here.  So if you just happened upon this blog, go away, it's top secret.  The things I write about on this blog are not meant for human eyes to see, or for that matter animal eyes.  Well if you're still reading, I guess there's no point in me putting up such a fight, just do me a favor and keep it down, and out of respect, close your eyes while reading.

What I hate with an uncontrollable passion is this new "race" that seems to have mutated in the last decade or so.  I call them orange people.  They are not the next step in evolution, they have no culture, except maybe for the lack thereof, and the worst of them are orange supremacists.  I can't say that I really hate them actually, because they are so entertaining to see in the world.   Every time I see an orange person walk by like they are the coolest thing in the world, on the inside I laugh hysterically, sometimes so much so that I laugh hysterically on the outside.  Now I'm not one to judge another human based on the color of their skin, unless of course that color is entirely synthetic, if you spray your skin color on, or lock yourself in a radiation chamber for hours at a time, to seek the end result of being orange.  Well my friend, you are silly, and your superficiality deserves to be laughed at.

This is what you look like to the rest of the world^  I know, you're jealous of my drawing prowess.

Okay, so I'm done with negativity, here comes the truly awesome stuff.  Firstly, one of my favorite things, and there for one of the most amazing things in the world is the ellipses...I know, punctuation is usually rather boring, and you're probably not the type to sit and read "The Elements of Style" all day for pleasure.  But to me it's one of the best tools for portraying thoughts through a blog, or any type of text, especially on the internet.  I am a huge fan of the awkward silence, I thrive in awkwardness, where most people freak out  and just don't know what to do.  The awkward silence is a tool I use on a daily basis and real life, and without the ellipses, I don't know how I'd get that across in a blog...You're probably thinking man, not only is that improper syntax, but it's annoying to see...well too bad nerd...the ellipses is awesome, and if you don't think so.......okay.

The second amazing thing on the list is an amalgam of two of the most awesome animals on the face of the planet.  That's right I'm talking about the Bearnoceros.  If somehow a bear and a rhinoceros had offspring, which the thought of the two getting is on is pretty disgusting, so we'll just say for the sake of even more awesomeness, that science has genetically engineered a Bearnoceros in a lab.  Imagine how bad ass of an animal that would be, and take it one step further and imagine how bad ass of a pet it would make.  "Oh you have a pit bull?  Well I have a Bearnoceros.  Check and mate."  The way I imagine it, it would have the body of a rhinoceros, with rhinoceros skin, but the legs would be that of a bear, as well as the head, and especially the teeth, with rhino horns.  It would be carnivorous, and since it would be leagues ahead of any other predator, it wouldn't be fishing salmon out of a stream, it would be hunting ligers and elephant.  On top of that, if it did get a taste for seafood, F a salmon, it'd be pulling killer whale out of the ocean for a snack.  Here are two depictions of what a Bearnoceros could look like, oh and just so you know, this animal would be so cool, you'd have to capitalize the first letter of it's name out of respect.

Don't panic, these aren't real pictures.  Even though I know it's hard to tell, I just used my elite photoshopping skills to put these together.